by Dana Cavalea June 09, 2021

1 Comment

Hi Team...

I want you to listen to something today....


I want you to listen to how many questions you are asked today...

Each interaction that you have, count the amount of questions the other person asks you....

What you will find is this: Usually most people talk- but very few questions are asked.

In the corporate and team building world, there is a lot of talk about communication around the issues that come from a lack of communication...

The issue is, most communication enhancement is built around listening.

My questions is this: Listening to what?

The greatest discovery one can make about another person comes through questions...then, listening to the answer to the question that is asked.

This is where I see a great divide today.

Lots of talk.

Very few questions.

You see, questions show interest.

They show that you have an interest in getting to know, understand, and connecting with somebody at a deeper level.

Not to mention it is an act of selflessness. 

When we constantly take the microphone, we expect others to listen.

That is the misstep in communication.

Never expect, instead ASK and give somebody else the platform and through your questions you can actually navigate a conversation and even control it.

There are many places this strategy of communication can show itself to have tremendous benefit- negotiation being one of them.

If you ask questions, you get answers- often answers the other individual had no intention of sharing with you.

People love to talk- especially about themselves.

Let them- by asking great questions.

Those questions lead to answers and ultimately you will get to:

  • Really see where the other person is coming from,
  • How they think,
  • Why they think how they think,
  • What they are dealing with in real-time, and...
  • An overall snapshot of their journey.

Now, don't you think this would add some depth to a relationship?

Both personally and professionally.

I can not tell you how many people I coach that tell me:

"Coach, I just do not feel heard and understood"

This is a major issue- and it is because we have stopped asking questions.

I can not tell you how many CEOs I work with that are bewildered at the fact that their people do not ask them questions.....

Or, how many parents get no real info from their kids because when they do ask questions, they are nagging questions with a probing delivery (never works).

We must get better at asking questions- and at how we ask the question.

Ready for the best way to do this?

Have a genuine interest in the other person vs. looking to get something out of or from the other person.

When you can step into communication with a true interest in the person you communicate with a major bridge is formed and the result is always higher levels of connectivity..

Think of the last person that asked you a question.

How did it make you feel that somebody really cared about you enough to ask the question, listen intently to the answer, and then follow up with another deeper question based on your answer?

I know that makes me feel amazing.

How cool that somebody else wants to understand me more or learn from me.

You have that power too.


Don't just walk around barfing on people with your own nervous chatter.

Dig in on somebody today.

That is how communication works.

And to all the leaders out there- stop busting your peoples balls by always telling them what to do.

Ask them about them.

Get to know them.

Show some real interest.

It may soften you just a tad and as a result resolve many of those communication and culture issues that you have.

Questions change everything- ask them!

Let's go out and WIN TODAY.

Your Coach,


Check out this weeks podcast on "taking the first step". Click here to listen.

Dana Cavalea
Dana Cavalea

Dana Cavalea is the World Champion Director of Strength and Conditioning & Performance of the New York Yankees. Currently, he is a High Performance Speaker & Consultant to Pro Athletes, Entrepreneurs, Business Executives, and Workforces on lifestyle strategies to reduce stress, improve work/life integration, and most importantly improve daily performance /outcomes. Book Dana to Speak at your Company Event or Conference Today!

1 Response


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