by Dana Cavalea June 08, 2021

1 Comment

Hi Team....

It is a humid day today in New York....

Before I go out and take care of the legends of the land, the pigs, the cows, the chicks...

I have a message for you about changing people and getting people to do what you want...

Sounds good, right?

Getting people to change and getting them to do what you want!

Well, it can happen.

But, you must have the right intentions.

It is less about getting them to do what you want- and more about them doing what is best for them, which in turn, will be good for all parties involved.

As a Coach, I work as a change-agent for people.

Helping them morph into a better version of who they are, improving habits, production, focus, and most importantly outcomes.

This is fun work, yet it takes time.

For the most part, many are unable to see the changes in the first week, two weeks, or even month- but then things start to happen.

Good things.

I look at it like this...

For the first few weeks we are getting the boat that wants to head towards land to turn out towards the open waters....

Each week, early one, the boat keeps turning towards land...

But through correction, week over week, eventually the turns toward land become less aggressive, less frequent, and less pronounced...

This makes open water boating a great possibility...

It is in those open waters that we have to trust...

Trust ourselves.

Trust the process.

Trust that things will workout if the works is done- which it will be.

When it comes to change- it is always slow.

When it happens fast- it is often not there to stay.

Think about the last extreme diet you went on- came and went- the boat eventually went back to port.

Think about that employee or team member you manage- you got on them, rode them hard on what you want from them, they changed for a few days then went back to being themselves.

Why does this happen?

Because change is a process.

A process that requires understanding, acceptance that it takes time, and a plan that is stuck with, through good and bad, and modified over time to match the changing needs of the person(S) seeking and needing change.

For those of you that manage people (and households), I wanted to put together a list of 5-things that never work when it comes to changing people:

  1. Telling people what to do without understanding first  "why" they do what they do. Nobody wants to be told what to do if they are not understood.
  2. Thinking people will do what you tell them to do because "it is good for them" and therefore forcing your ways onto them.
  3. Micro-management of any kind. Remember, people actually do want to think for themselves- even if their thoughts are incorrect at the start of a change-management program.
  4. Trying to make your way, their way. We are all different and respond to things differently. In coaching leaders and athletes over the years- no two people should ever be approached the same (even if they are in the same home, or from the same background)
  5. Trying to make your timeline for their change, their timeline. We all work at a different pace. Some individuals are "Fast" adapters and others are "Slow" adapters. One is not right or wrong- they are what they are. It is what it is. Accept the pace of change.

Now that you know what "what not to do's"- if you want to know what to do, well, re-read the above and the "what to do's" are woven within the above.


Nobody wants to fail.

Nobody wants to be a loser.

Nobody wants to screw up.

Sometimes, the above are the byproducts of just flat out getting beat - or the need for greater SAT (skill acquisition training)....

People change- we do not directly change them.

All we can do is support them in THEIR desire to change.

Be there for great conversations but refrain from telling them what to do unless you are asked.

If you are their leader, be clear on the expectations but be collaborative in helping them if their goal is truly to change, develop, and elevate.

Got it?

Now, let's go lead like champions today!



Check out this weeks podcast on "taking the first step". Click here to listen.

Dana Cavalea
Dana Cavalea

Dana Cavalea is the World Champion Director of Strength and Conditioning & Performance of the New York Yankees. Currently, he is a High Performance Speaker & Consultant to Pro Athletes, Entrepreneurs, Business Executives, and Workforces on lifestyle strategies to reduce stress, improve work/life integration, and most importantly improve daily performance /outcomes. Book Dana to Speak at your Company Event or Conference Today!

1 Response


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