by Dana Cavalea February 08, 2018

1 Comment

As I was driving to one of my clients this morning, I had the opportunity to listen to an excellent audio cd in my Mobile University.. aka my car!

The disc was titled the 4-Stages of Happiness.. 


I didn't realize there was any stages outside of Happy and Unhappy..

But, as Robert Spitzer from Gonzaga University pointed out.. there are actually 4-Stages.. 

And one specifically that needs the most tending too... Comparative Happiness.

In it's most basic definition, it is comparing YOU and YOUR SITUATION to that of others.. either in person or digitally via social media.. 

What makes this so dangerous is that you start living in a ME vs. YOU life.. instead of a ME vs. ME life..

So it is so imperative to define what happiness is for YOU.. not based on that of others.. 

Growing up playing sports and living in the New York Metro Area.. we are virtually bred to compare ourselves to others.. and compete...

In sports, the goal is to be better than your competition and beat your opponent.. 

Again.. ME vs. YOU.. 

In a wealth dominant part of the country, like New York... with high priced homes and a fight for status..etc.. the feeling of not good enough is easily achieved.. especially when your neighbor started one of the World's top Hedge Funds..

I am sure many of you could relate..

I write this blog today to create an awareness.. and to give you the courage to take hold of this PHASE of HAPPINESS.. and to realize SOME Competition is good.. but not at the mercy of classifying others as "better, less than, or loser.." based on situation and "things".. with the overall objective being to make you FEEL LIKE A WINNER.. (because when you can not get on top, and become that "winner".. you will basically become manic, working to fight your way out of feeling like a "loser")

What I took away from this mornings "education session" is that we can combat all of this by being of service to others.. which is PHASE 3.. give, serve, help, and get the attention off yourself..

This is where the teaching and my philosophy on life blend together..

If you are feeling down, negative, and out.. it is most likely because you are living INTERNALLY.. go out and give more, be more to others... and BOOM.. your game will change..

In order to THRIVE in life.. it is all about keeping your thought life healthy.. 

The better your head, the better your performance.. 

Try the technique of GIVING and BEING OF SERVICE.. even at work.. you will see your relationships change for the better.. and look for nothing in return..

That is the fastest way to perpetual happiness..


Dana Cavalea
Dana Cavalea

Dana Cavalea is the World Champion Director of Strength and Conditioning & Performance of the New York Yankees. Currently, he is a High Performance Speaker & Consultant to Pro Athletes, Entrepreneurs, Business Executives, and Workforces on lifestyle strategies to reduce stress, improve work/life integration, and most importantly improve daily performance /outcomes. Book Dana to Speak at your Company Event or Conference Today!

1 Response


February 01, 2023

Very helpful advice in this particular post! It’s the little changes that make the largest changes. Thanks for sharing!

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