Well, two weeks ago I got a dog. His name is Rocco.
He is an English Bulldog. He was a gift to my wife for her birthday.
He is very sweet, but, some nights he does not like to sleep.
He spends the night looking for attention.
As the Coach, it has been my job to train him.
My wife and I have opposite personalities on this topic. She is a compassionate, empathetic care taker. Fully responsive to his needs and desires.
I am much more stern. Demand obedience. Put into place high levels of structure and discipline. And, I never cave into his behavior of being needy.
Two different styles.
Two different outcomes.
Realization: The dog knows exactly what he is doing and what he can get from each party.
Why do I share?
Well, very similar behavior traits can be found amongst people.
No Discipline = Anarchy and Rebellion.
No Structure = Too Much Freedom and This Is Often Abused. Results and Productivity is also often compromised.
No Schedule = Unpredictable Outcomes and Timelines
Over-Nurturing= Unable to Deal with Conflict (Which is Guaranteed)
Giving In = You Have Set a Standard of a New Possibilities in a Negative Sense
Ignoring Drama = The Other Party (Dog) Will Need to Deal With and Manage Their Emotional State.
It is amazing to see how an animal adapts when you put into place the above.
I write this because there is nothing more powerful than teaching an animal and/or a person how to manage their emotions.
It is extremely powerful to allow them the opportunity to sit with their needs and desires and have to work through those needs and desires without the enablement of somebody else.
I have found that there are many people that want to talk about their problems and issues- have another person feel sorry for them- and they continue living the same way that have been. The way of living that has led to these problems in the first place.
When we enable rather than encourage/ challenge, results will be compromised.
I have seen it with Rocco. I have seen it with those I have Coached through the years in sports and business. But, it can all change when we stop giving into the negative emotional needs of ourselves and others.
Last night, we let Rocco bark.
You know what happened?
When he realized we were not coming to his rescue, he figured out his emotions. He went to sleep.
He dealt with what he was dealing with and found a solution to his problem on his own. If a dog can do it, well, so can we!
We have so much power- we just have to use it to create the outcomes we desire for ourselves and others!
COACH DANA CAVALEA