Communication Breakdown...

Hey Team- 

As many of you know.. I like to do a lot of my work from coffee shops...

Why?

Well... I love watching people... and... as a self proclaimed "man of the people".. I like to be in the trenches because you can learn so much...

So yesterday, I took a drive up to New Paltz, NY a hiker kind of town... and did my work from a local coffee shop...on a deck out back... overlooking the mountains..

Cool.

But while sitting at my "desk"... I overheard a conversation by a middle aged woman discussing with a friend how she feels "no connection" to her sister... and it really upset her...

I find this amazing because whenever you talk about "failed" relationships.. the word communication always comes up....

What I have always found interesting about this is that communication is an innate human response.. much like eating and moving....

We were born to communicate.

Herd animals....

We actually love it...

But why do so many people struggle?

Well next week I am presenting in Boston with AROD on this very topic.... 

INTROSPECTION.

I believe so many people struggle to communicate with others because they have lost connecting with themselves...

What they like?

Who they enjoy socially?

What makes them tick?

The things that offend them and upset them?

The things that juice them up and make them happy...?

If we do not know these things... we end up with voids and holes in our life...

Then the dangerous things happens...

We look to others to fill those holes and voids...

That creates toxicity in any relationship....

Rather that allow a relationship to go astray... if we could present "who we are" to those we have relationships with... being really clear about it... and letting somebody truly know how we feel at all times (uninhibited)... we now are on a path to winning the communication game...

Passive aggressive behavior = result of not clearly communicating true feelings

Defensiveness = allowing the words and actions of others to cause an emotional reaction based on your fears, incompetencies, vulnerabilities, and insecurities..

Everybody wants to be heard and understood...and the only way for that to happen is clear, honest, and RESPECTFUL conversation....

But you must know yourself first... and for those who are leaders... you have 2 jobs...

1. Know yourself...

2. Know the people that you lead better than they know themselves....

So whenever you are in a conflict situation.. double down on making the other person drop their guard by being honestly nice with them.... and then have a conversation in a healthy tone where they are understanding you rather than wanting to chop your head off!

Simple.

It takes practice...

It starts with knowing yourself... including how you react to things!

COACH DANA CAVALEA