by Dana Cavalea February 15, 2017

Have you ever had somebody tell you that they don't understand you? or perhaps.. they don't feel valued/ appreciated by you?

As we go through life from a personal, work, and business standpoint, we will come across people from many walks, many different backgrounds, and upbringings/ cultures.

Personalities, habits , mindsets, attitudes, customs are all formed from how we are brought up.

We create and have certain expectations based on how we were raised.. so as somebody that is "looking to engage".. you must always remember the other side may not think like you.. (most likely they don't)... so understanding them from their perspective is EVERYTHING before you "judge", act, negotiate, or speak.

Through coaching athletes and executives from all over the World- I realized quickly that everybody is "similar..but very different". My ability to interact accordingly would bring the desired result and outcome. Failure to understand the individual- their quirks, personality, and nuances would immediately compromise the relationship.

One of the major things I realized as I carve through the turns of life is: that everybody needs validation.. some through words, others through gifts, some through service, and others through a combination of all.. this helps the other person feel valued... 

To truly maximize your day to day interactions, results, and performance at home and in the workplace... taking time to "understand" the needs, wants, and desires of others is imperative to great success. Some of the these wants, needs, and desires you can meet and exceed, others may force a deal/ relationship to "end" because one party is unable to meet those needs.


Most conflict is sourced from the place of misunderstanding which can also be described as a "poor connection" or thinking that somebody "doesn't care"... when in fact, some people have difficulty expressing themselves... so connecting on certain levels becomes near impossible... creating a divide.. which could of easily been rectified if one party was able to meet the needs of the other... or the other party was able to help facilitate the communication process as an "assist" to the other.

That is team-work..


As we all know.. "Team-work makes the Dream-Work"... Great teams are comprised of individuals that can pick up for the "weaknesses" of others... creating a truly synergistic environment of showing "value & validation" towards others..

If you are constantly in conflict, or feeling misunderstood, or undervalued, or seeking validation, you may just need to "re-negotiate" some of the relationships around you... not end them. 

Help the other person or people understand your needs, goals, values, WHYs and standards... and talk to them in a way so they can better meet your expectations... you will be surprised what type of clarity a clean, honest conversation can create. Boundaries and clarity can totally revamp a "Dead" relationship...

Everybody wants connection. Everybody seeks validation. Everybody wants to be valued. #TrainLikeAPro

Dana Cavalea
Dana Cavalea

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