Yesterday, on my Champions Walk I watched a great presentation on narcissism and self-esteem....
Let me break a few things down for us!
It has been found that high self-esteem and narcissism are often the best of friends....
It is also common place for many high achievers to share the traits of higher narcissism and higher self-esteem...
Where the problem lies is not actually in the narcissistic tendencies or the higher levels of self-esteem....
The biggest issues that face these high achievers is how hard they are on themselves as a result of the above...
Narcissism: a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive interest in one's physical appearance or image and an excessive preoccupation with one's own needs.
Self-Esteem: confidence in one's own worth or abilities.
Most look at these two words and talk about how "hard" the above types are on others- but nobody stops to think just how hard they are on themselves.
The high performer often justifies "being hard on themselves" as a way of keeping their edge, but the truth is, research has shown it is actually a detriment to their performance both mentally and physically as it is often associated with higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression over time.
So what do we do high performing, type-A, borderline neurotic people?
We break the association that crushing ourselves is the answer to higher levels of performance and trade "CRUSH" for "ENCOURAGEMENT".
As you all know- I am not a softy and do not advocate lying to yourself- but when it comes to training the "encouragement" reflex, I am all about that.
Personal encouragement leads to greater levels of courage.
To excel in business, you need courage.
To excel in life, you need courage.
To have a challenging conversation, you need courage.
To show up and command the room, you need courage.
It all begins with encouragement, not hammering the shit out of yourself for results.
Those results will still leave you feeling empty if you go about getting them by hammering thyself.
Change your strategy to one of encouragement, it works.
This is my coaching strategy...
Tough love, action plan, and then encouragement..
I never want somebody to leave a session feeling beat down... just inspired and confident that they are just getting started!
Go out and win today!
COACH DANA CAVALEA